chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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