Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
