Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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