I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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