got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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