Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
