drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We got so high we made milksteak
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
