Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
