Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just pee around me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
