Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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