Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
