I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
kristin has been a bad kristin
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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