should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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