i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
