Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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