I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize