Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
they're like a gay fantastic four
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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