this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
