check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
