god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
