I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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