4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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