OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk is a universal language darling
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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