Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dick very happy bro
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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