Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize