Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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