Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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