Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Be still, my beating vagina.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
