you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The struggles of a small town man whore
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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