I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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