I just cut my nipple shaving
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
