I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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