I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
