have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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