Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
