My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
