oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
