My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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