Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm at about main and main street
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
