Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize