I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's like iHOP with fire
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
