I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How external is "for external use only"?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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