I'm going to jail i love you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
