I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize