you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
