so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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