Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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