alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
