my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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