She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she peed on how many people?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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