I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
