"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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