i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
