Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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