Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
