You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
