I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
