I got chris browned last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
