you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
