he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
