what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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