Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
