1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
