Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
