I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
