That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
